How do you feel about the way you were raised? Do you feel hurt, anger or pain about the way you were treated by your parents? It is alright if you feel that you were not blessed with most joyful relationship with your parents. The crucial part is to know that it has happened and it is gone! Keeping it in your memory will only make it worse. Forgiving your parents is one of the most significant steps in your spiritual journey. If you don't forgive them, you will be constantly chasing the image of the perfect parent in your friends, siblings, and significant others, to name just a few.
In my journey as a spiritual guide, I come across many seekers who still retain mentally suppressed anger towards their parents. The anger exists for a number of things. Many people eventually realize that the anger was unnecessary but by that time their parents are old or dead. It doesn't have to be this way. I won't go into the reasons of why you are angry,; it really doesn't matter. I don't want to assume anything regarding your anger and resentment and I am not in the place to judge you or your parents. However, I do understand that this task is necessary in order for you to open your heart and heal yourself. If you don't do it, you will pass on the same unresolved energy to your kids too. I want to give you few points to meditate upon and make a choice of your own.
No one is perfect: No one is trained to be a perfect parent. Our parents are simply imperfect people who were also raised by imperfect people. The parents just take on this role from the day you were conceived. Thereafter, they just try their best to make sure you feel cared and loved. They may fail multiple times. But your job is to reward the effort and help them win.
Let it go: Does it really matter? Or would it matter in 5 years? Understand that there are good chances that you will outlive them. Do you want them to leave this way? With grudges held against them? Let them know that you have grown up and released all of the events from the past. You are strong and you have healed and moved on from childhood pains. Plan an intention in your meditation that you will let it go. Everyday in every way, you will heal yourself with love.
They need you: When you were born, you needed them at every step. You couldn't convey it in words, but they knew it and they protected you from all troubles. The karmic cycle now demands you to return the favor with love. They may not be able to say it but they need you now more than ever. Do little things. Let them feel protected too. Example: Take them out occasionally for a movie, dinner, or just organize something for them once in a while.
They have forgiven you: There must be many things that you have done knowingly or unknowingly to hurt them, and you will realize that they never stopped looking for an opportunity to forgive you; with perhaps a few surprising exceptions. Parents can't live with the guilt of hating their child. In India, we have a saying that a mother will love her child even if the child is divine or devil. To a mother, it is all equal. Redefine your relationship with them.
Open the communication: Start spending more time with them and find a moment where you can express yourself freely. Some children find it easy to do it through a written letter. Remember that you are not attacking them but lovingly expressing why it's important for you to let them know about the pain. When done with an honest intention, this method breaks all the walls of resentment.
You don't know their story: Do you know how they were treated by their parents? They probably had their shares of pains to deal with also, maybe worse than the pain you've had to deal with. By showing an attitude of forgiveness, you will end up healing their wounds too. Human beings crave acceptance and love. Let it be you who's ready to take the love initiative!