3 Ways to Stop Falling in Love … and Start Rising in Love Instead

While we typically associate the word “falling” with pain, falling actually does not hurt at all. Falling flows freely. The only thing that really hurts is the act of stopping the fall. Right? If you fall from a 20-story building, the falling part is just a ride through the sky. But when you stop falling – and hit the ground – that’s when the brutal pain occurs. 

Falling in love is similar: it is easy … to a certain point. One can fall in love as many times as he or she wants. But it is the interruption, or the stop, in the falling that causes the real damage. 

We enter into romantic relationships for a number of reasons. A few of those may be: 

  • Physical attraction.
  • Genuine care and affection.
  • A need for companionship (and a cure for loneliness). 

The truth is, stopping that fall never gets easier. It will always continue to hurt if you stay on the course you are on, falling in and out of love. The solution is to stop falling in love and instead start rising in love. It’s time to look at relationships in a new light. 

Here’s how you can rise in love:

1. Give your partner freedom.

No one is in a relationship to feel enslaved. You don’t want to feel like a possession in a relationship, and therefore you shouldn’t posses your partner either. Freedom requires that you be in complete harmony with your existence and with the existence of your better half too. 

2. Love generously. 

We have been taught to extract love from others. But that isn’t real love! To state it simply, that is more like emotional torture. You cannot squeeze love out of others. The only way love works is like this: the more you give, the more you get back. However, your end goal still should not be to expect love in return! Love with a surrendering spirit, and it will come back to you.

3. Remember that sex is part of love, but it’s not everything.

Don’t judge your love life based on the intensity of the sex or the number of orgasms you have. Sex is a way to express your love, but it is not the complete expression. Love can happen without sex, and sex can happen without love. Don’t assume that they go together all of the time. 

What are your biggest challenges when it comes to love and relationships? If you feel comfortable, please share in the comments below, and we can talk about overcoming them. 

Phil Pallen

Santa Monica Blvd. and 7th St., Santa Monica, CA

Phil Pallen is a brand and social media strategist based in Los Angeles. His roster comprises of recognized personalities from TV shows like Shark Tank, X Factor, Project Runway and Dr. Oz, along with passionate entrepreneurs. Hype from Phil's social media campaigns have garnered press from more than 100 international media outlets. Outside of consulting, Phil speaks at conferences across the US and teaches social media strategy in LA.