3 Ways to Stop Falling in Love … and Start Rising in Love Instead

While we typically associate the word “falling” with pain, falling actually does not hurt at all. Falling flows freely. The only thing that really hurts is the act of stopping the fall. Right? If you fall from a 20-story building, the falling part is just a ride through the sky. But when you stop falling – and hit the ground – that’s when the brutal pain occurs. 

Falling in love is similar: it is easy … to a certain point. One can fall in love as many times as he or she wants. But it is the interruption, or the stop, in the falling that causes the real damage. 

We enter into romantic relationships for a number of reasons. A few of those may be: 

  • Physical attraction.
  • Genuine care and affection.
  • A need for companionship (and a cure for loneliness). 

The truth is, stopping that fall never gets easier. It will always continue to hurt if you stay on the course you are on, falling in and out of love. The solution is to stop falling in love and instead start rising in love. It’s time to look at relationships in a new light. 

Here’s how you can rise in love:

1. Give your partner freedom.

No one is in a relationship to feel enslaved. You don’t want to feel like a possession in a relationship, and therefore you shouldn’t posses your partner either. Freedom requires that you be in complete harmony with your existence and with the existence of your better half too. 

2. Love generously. 

We have been taught to extract love from others. But that isn’t real love! To state it simply, that is more like emotional torture. You cannot squeeze love out of others. The only way love works is like this: the more you give, the more you get back. However, your end goal still should not be to expect love in return! Love with a surrendering spirit, and it will come back to you.

3. Remember that sex is part of love, but it’s not everything.

Don’t judge your love life based on the intensity of the sex or the number of orgasms you have. Sex is a way to express your love, but it is not the complete expression. Love can happen without sex, and sex can happen without love. Don’t assume that they go together all of the time. 

What are your biggest challenges when it comes to love and relationships? If you feel comfortable, please share in the comments below, and we can talk about overcoming them. 

Get Your Kids to Meditate!

In a world of competitive schooling, family and internal pressures, kids need meditation as much as adults. Meditation helps kids develop focus, regulate their own emotions and learn how to pay attention inside and out. It gives them a sense of center and, therefore, resilience. The real essence of meditation can be attained when one is attuned to the childlike spirit in consciousness. To create a higher consciousness, we must invest in the souls of our kids today. Introducing children to meditation and spirituality is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. It can set their future on a nourishing and creative road-map. Meditation is a process that enhances the growth of the body-mind of the child, nurtures the development of each child’s own unique personality, and supports creativity and expression. His Holiness The Dalai Lama puts it beautifully, “”If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.”

Here are few kid meditation exercises to help them create calm, focus and build higher-awareness:

1. The power of sound – Invite kids to sit in a cross legged posture and let their eyes close. Ring a soft bell or singing bowl, and ask kids to use their sense of hearing to explore the sound. Ask them to listen very carefully. Without making any effort, tell kids to simply relax the senses and practice deep breathing. Let them simply ‘be’ in the aura of sound. This exercise will build the calming power in kids.

2. The essence of mantra – Mantra is a powerful syllable attuned to give oneself a higher experience of awareness. Young kids can start with the sacred Gayatri mantra chanting for 10 minutes a day. One can follow the affirmations or the sacred words from any religion they practice. The key is to get kids start the practice of connecting with the divine self. Mantra can be chosen by a qualified spiritual guide and must be instructed as per the kids’ visionary aura.

3. The Universe of breathing – Breathing is the most significant element of our consciousness. Your breath is always with you. Learning to check in to it from an early age is a major tool. Try “take 5 breath” where you inhale for five, and exhale for five. Use your fingers to count as you breathe. Slowing your breath will slow down your mind. Practicing conscious breathing will help your child grow into a soul of awareness.

4. The Art of witnessing – Sitting quietly, pay attention to your inhale and exhale. When thoughts or feelings come up, think of them like clouds passing through your mind, which is like the sky. You can watch the clouds come and go just like you can watch clouds in the sky move and shift in their shapes. Kids may not sit too long, but just introducing this concept is a great preparation for adult meditation. And the awareness that things are always changing and things do pass is important to share and practice observing with kids.

Above all, YOU must meditate before teaching the kids. Kids don’t do what parents teach. Kids do what parents do. Hence, the best practice is the setting of an example by devoting time to your meditation on a daily basis. Kids will simply follow you after they see you meditating everyday. By having your kids to meditate, you are contributing to the global consciousness!

Forgive Your Parents

How do you feel about the way you were raised? Do you feel hurt, anger or pain about the way you were treated by your parents? It is alright if you feel that you were not blessed with most joyful relationship with your parents. The crucial part is to know that it has happened and it is gone! Keeping it in your memory will only make it worse. Forgiving your parents is one of the most significant steps  in your spiritual journey. If you don't forgive them, you will be constantly chasing the image of the perfect parent in your friends, siblings, and significant others, to name just a few. 

In my journey as a spiritual guide, I come across many seekers who still retain mentally suppressed anger towards their parents. The anger exists for a number of things. Many people eventually realize that the anger was unnecessary but by that time their parents are old or dead. It doesn't have to be this way. I won't go into the reasons of why you are angry,; it really doesn't matter.  I don't want to assume anything regarding your anger and resentment and I am not in the place to judge you or your parents. However, I do understand that this task is necessary in order for you to open your heart and heal yourself. If you don't do it, you will pass on the same unresolved energy to your kids too. I want to give you few points to meditate upon and make a choice of your own. 

No one is perfect: No one is trained to be a perfect parent. Our parents are simply imperfect people who were also raised by imperfect people. The parents just take on this role from the day you were conceived. Thereafter, they just try their best to make sure you feel cared and loved. They may fail multiple times. But your job is to reward the effort and help them win.

Let it go: Does it really matter? Or would it matter  in 5 years? Understand that there are good chances that you will outlive them. Do you want them to leave this way? With grudges held against them? Let them know that you have grown up and released all of the events from the past. You are strong and you have healed and moved on from childhood pains.  Plan an intention in your meditation that you will let it go. Everyday in every way, you will heal yourself with love. 

They need you: When you were born, you needed them at every step. You couldn't convey it in words, but they knew it and they protected you from all troubles. The karmic cycle now demands you to return the favor with love. They may not be able to say it but they need you now more than ever. Do little things. Let them feel protected too. Example: Take them out occasionally for a movie, dinner, or just organize something for them once in a while.

They have forgiven you: There must be many things that you have done knowingly or unknowingly to hurt them, and you will realize that they never stopped looking for an opportunity to forgive you; with perhaps a few surprising exceptions. Parents can't live with the guilt of hating their child. In India, we have a saying that a mother will love her child even if the child is divine or devil. To a mother, it is all equal. Redefine your relationship with them. 

Open the communication: Start spending more time with them and find a moment where you can express yourself freely. Some children find it easy to do it through a written letter. Remember that you are not attacking them but lovingly expressing why it's important for you to let them know about the pain. When done with an honest intention, this method breaks all the walls of resentment. 

You don't know their story: Do you know how they were treated by their parents? They probably had their shares of pains to deal with also, maybe worse than the pain you've had to deal with. By showing an attitude of forgiveness, you will end up healing their wounds too. Human beings crave acceptance and love. Let it be you who's ready to take the love initiative!